INVITATION ETIQUETTE

| Formal Invitations | Addressing Envelopes | Assembling and Mailing |

Wedding invitations say a lot about the couple and their upcoming ceremony. There are certain rules of etiquette that are observed when sending out invitations. Below are some tips on wedding invitations to help you leave the best impression on your guests.

---

Formal Invitations

Here are some things to remember when you're composing a formal invitation:

• Spell out all words, including the hour, the date and the year.
• Use Roman numerals in names, rather than "the third" or "3rd."
• For ceremonies taking place in a house of worship, use "request the honor of your presence." Ceremonies taking place in a non-religious setting should say, "request the pleasure of your company."
• Never mention anything about gifts anywhere in your invitations. Do not ask for cash, list stores where you are registered, or even request donations to charity in lieu of gifts. This type of information is best spread, if at all, by word of mouth by someone other than the couple themselves.
• Don't use the phrases "No Children" or "Adult Reception." If children are not invited, simply omit their names from the addressed envelopes.
• It is acceptable to include information about attire on the invitation itself. However, you may wish to include that information on an informational insert or on your wedding website instead.

---

Addressing Envelopes

Unsure of how to address invitation envelopes? Here are some tips on the way you should address your envelopes. Below are also various examples of wording for formal wedding invitation envelopes:

• Avoid nicknames, write out names in full, including middles names. Omit a middle name if necessary , rather than using an initial. Exceptions to the abbreviation rule are titles such as Mr., Mrs., Dr., Jr., etc.
• Spell out all words in the address, including Street, Road, and Avenue. The two exceptions to this rule in address are Saint (St.) and Mount (Mt.). Never abbreviate cities or states (i.e., "Quebec," not "QC"). Numbered street names should be spelled out (i.e., "101 Fifty-First Street," not "101 51st St.").
  
• "And" is always spelled out, not "&".

Single Guests
Unmarried woman or a divorced Woman who retains her maiden name	Miss (or Ms.) Jennifer Cole Miss Jennifer Cole and Guest
Divorced woman who uses her married name	Mrs. Jennifer Parker Mrs. Jennifer Parker and Guest
Unmarried or divorced man	Mr. Peter Carter Mr. Peter Carter and Guest
Families
Names of children appear underneath their parents/guardian. Avoid "and family" if possible.
Children over 18 and other adult relatives who reside in the household each receive his or her own invitation.
Couples
Married couples	Mr. and Mrs. Howard Smith
Married couples when the woman retains her maiden name	Ms. Emily Johnson Mr. Brian Lawson
Unmarried couples who live together (names in alphabetically order)	Ms. Amy Davis Mr. Ivan Jones
Others
Professional Titles (judge, governor, mayor, senators, members of congress, ambassadors, cabinet members) - if single	The Honorable Peter Thompson
Professional Titles - if married	The Honorable and Mrs. Peter Thompson
Professional Titles (clergy)	The Reverend and Mrs. Steven Jones
Doctor (medical, dentist, veterinarian, and the academically degreed who use that title)	Doctor and Mrs. Michael Stokes
Married couples, both doctors	Doctors Tom and Jenny Hepler
Married woman doctor	Doctor Patricia Ross Mr. John Winslow
Officer - Male who is active duty or retired from the service	General and Mrs. Barry Richards
Officer - Female who is active duty or retired from the service	Captain Sandy Keller, U.S. Army Mr. Johnny Noel

 

---

Assembling and Mailing

Traditionally, there is a specific order for assembling invitations for mailing.

• With the back of the large envelope and the front of the invitation facing you (text up), put the invitation in the envelope with the opening to the right.
• On top of that put in the reception invitation also facing up.
• Last, put in the response card, also printed side up. It should be lying within the flap of the small response envelop (which faces down).
• Any other insertions, such as a map or directions, should go in last.
• Before buying your postage, take one fully assembled wedding invitation to the post office and have it weighed. Accurate postage will ensure timely delivery.
• Choose an attractive postage stamp that will complement the overall look of your invitations.
• Mail your invitations at least 6 to 8 weeks before your wedding so that your guests have plenty of time to plan accordingly.
• It is highly recommended that you bring your invitations to the post office. You can request that they be hand cancelled that will minimize any unsightly marks or damage caused by the automated sorting machines. Hand-cancellation is usually a free service, but it may depend on the number of invitations you are mailing and/or where you live. Smaller post offices are more often willing to hand-cancel large numbers of envelopes. It may also help to call ahead of time to see when is the best time to go in. Or you can offer to borrow the stamp, stand to the side and cancel the envelopes yourself.